Here’s a sketch for an aborted Consumerist idea–I wanted to show the semi-secret (or at least unpublicized) connection behind all the seemingly competitive and separate eyeware companies in the U.S. Surprisingly, they’re all owned by a single Italian company.

The idea for this came from my optometrist, actually. I got my eyes examined recently and he told me how independent eyecare providers have to compete with the multinational behemoth that is Luxottica–and that while he can’t discuss prices with other companies, because that could be considered collusion, Lenscrafters, Pearl Vision, and Sunglass Hut are part of the same company. I don’t know how much information that means they can share, but it seems like the kind of thing people should be aware of.

My idea was to model a graphic after a mycelial colony, which is what we call it when a single fungus spreads out under the topsoil and sends up mushrooms all over creation. It’s creepy. (Especially if you don’t like mushrooms, and I don’t.) There’s a mycelial colony in Oregon that’s “estimated to be 2,400 years old, possibly older, and spans an estimated 2,200 acres,” according to Wikipedia. Arg! That’s terrible! Fungus is wrong!

Of course, my mycelial mat is imaginary and shoots up different types of mushrooms, which I think is pretty impossible. Also, some of the dozens of brands Luxottica is licensed to sell as eyeglass frames are represented by little flowers.

After I drew the sketch, I realized that it was too arcane an idea for the Consumerist audience and I shelved it.

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